we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
