The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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