So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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