Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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