careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Quick, to the slutcave!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize