You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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