whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
