you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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