yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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