Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
