guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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