Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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