So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
