I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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