he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
