$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
