I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
