Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
