Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
