i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
