It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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