I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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