i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
