I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
