I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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