escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
