So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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