She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
