That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
