I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
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I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.