It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i've created a new STD.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"