Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes

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  (519): I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes http://tfl.nu/mnz7
  Replies (10) Good night (1393) Bad night (2734)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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  (215): distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard. http://tfl.nu/840x
  Replies (36) Good night (4316) Bad night (1890)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...

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  (604): Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero... http://tfl.nu/xsvf
  Replies (17) Good night (6331) Bad night (1192)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Things like this can't be explained over text man

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  (678): Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning? (404): Things like this can't be explained over text man http://tfl.nu/zzxh
  Replies (22) Good night (4497) Bad night (1251)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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  (617): A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously http://tfl.nu/7jfj
  Replies (4) Good night (2731) Bad night (597)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.

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  (785): Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose. http://tfl.nu/r1ga
  Replies (5) Good night (630) Bad night (1454)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.

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  (256): Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you. http://tfl.nu/bzso
  Replies (11) Good night (3481) Bad night (772)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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  (303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu
  Replies (12) Good night (768) Bad night (1455)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!

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  (602): The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night! http://tfl.nu/j1nh
  Replies (4) Good night (1180) Bad night (534)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.

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  (904): You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish. http://tfl.nu/q7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (1987) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good luck

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes

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  (770): Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit. (404): Good luck (770): Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes http://tfl.nu/dpso
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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  (716): So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans... http://tfl.nu/4fn7
  Replies (4) Good night (445) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (495)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.

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  (603): Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number. http://tfl.nu/50et
  Replies (8) Good night (392) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me

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  (612): And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother? (651): its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me http://tfl.nu/0gnd
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (247)

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