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• (313): View more from Michigan

  thanks...oh and i got my period

  (734): View more from Michigan

  told you

  (313): View more from Michigan

  oh hush

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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• (415): View more from California

  You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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• (661): View more from California

  He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.

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