Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet