Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  could be more

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  absolutely not

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  (612): Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw (1-612): strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing (612): could be more (1-612): absolutely not http://tfl.nu/n6ii
  Replies (19) Good night (889) Bad night (1721)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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  (480): My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/85uj
  Replies (15) Good night (2028) Bad night (1110)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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  (704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!" http://tfl.nu/9nr0
  Replies (19) Good night (6415) Bad night (809)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

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  (609): im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school... http://tfl.nu/h356
  Replies (13) Good night (1185) Bad night (2414)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.

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  (248): Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police. http://tfl.nu/zopt
  Replies (9) Good night (1588) Bad night (4476)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Even my vagina gasped.

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  (515): Even my vagina gasped. http://tfl.nu/5sis
  Replies (15) Good night (5191) Bad night (1024)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

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  (812): Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes http://tfl.nu/54ik
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (1985)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear

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  (310): I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear http://tfl.nu/97on
  Replies (6) Good night (2020) Bad night (1325)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon

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  (402): You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon http://tfl.nu/n4f7
  Replies (16) Good night (1114) Bad night (643)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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  (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. http://tfl.nu/412l
  Replies (5) Good night (1973) Bad night (644)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

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  (845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (3072) Bad night (565)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gameday bitch. Man up.

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  (336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp
  Replies (2) Good night (1435) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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  (616): Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night. (402): 20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun http://tfl.nu/qbq0
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (450)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?

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  (775): Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night? http://tfl.nu/238u
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (462)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice

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  (440): its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice http://tfl.nu/6xmq
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (307)

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