apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
