Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
