I love black thongs
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
