Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
