never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
