I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
