I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
