so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
