If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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