Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
