Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
