I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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