I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
