friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
