i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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