oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
