I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
