im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
