***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
