this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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