U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
id be glad to
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
