we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
