her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
