Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
