Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
