i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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