I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
