I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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