When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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