How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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