Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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