Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
