I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have aggressive nipples.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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