Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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