His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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