I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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